Have you wondered if your friend is ever going to return your [fill in the blank]? Have you ever opened a drawer, closet, or cupboard only to find some item that a friend loaned you or left at your house? Maybe you have forgotten to return it. Perhaps you've tried, but your friend left it at your place again, has yet to pick it up, or wasn't too concerned at the time - but now it's been ages and you don't know whether your friend actually wants it back or not. Either way, it's not yours to keep, to give away, or get rid of. RTS Day takes the edge off of the awkwardness of reaching out to return, or ask for the return, of things long separated from their owners.
The idea for RTS Day came to Sarah Kidder while she was re-organizing her office and came across a handful of items that she'd attempted to return to friends to no avail. Later, while looking for items that she remembered had been loaned away but never returned, the idea for RTS Day began taking form. As she ran the idea by friends, she heard time and again how her friends wish for their things back, even years later. A common thread: concern about how to get the nerve up to have that awkward, "I know
it's been three years, but may I please have my book back?" conversation.
As an etiquette trainer and owner of many loaned away items, RTS Day grew into an idea to offer an avenue that will hopefully help close return on countless items and dissipate frustrations over missing power drills, books, serving platters, sweaters and more.
Sarah lives and works in Oakland, Ca. |
Twitter: @RTSday
Next RTS Day: Mar 20, 2013
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Graphics
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RTS Day Email Templates
Lenders looking for their stuff back
Dear _________,
I just heard about “Return to Sender Day” on March 20th. It’s a day designated for returning items that were borrowed. Hearing about RTS Day reminded me that I loaned you _________ a while ago and haven’t gotten it back yet. It’d be great to arrange a time to connect and drop off/pick up of my _________ by the 20th.
If I have something of yours that you'd like back. please remind me and I'll get it to you on RTS Day.
Thanks.
P.S. There are some fun things posted online about RTS Day, if you are interested: www.facebook.com/RTSDay
Borrowers Ready to Return things
Dear _________,
I just heard about “Return to Sender Day” on March 20th. It’s a day designated for returning items that were borrowed. RTS Day reminded me that I have your _________ and would like to return it to you. It’d be great to arrange a time to connect and drop off/pick up your _________ by the 20th.
Thanks.
P.S. There are some fun things posted online about RTS Day, if you are interested: www.facebook.com/RTSDay
FAQ
What’s on Your RTS List?
Loaning, borrowing, and forgetting about things are a fact of life. Being frustrated because you never got back your book, sweatshirt, drill, movie, or [fill in the blank] doesn’t have to be a part of life anymore. With RTS Day, you can be in touch with friends who have your stuff, or whose stuff you have, and make arrangements to connect and finally get your [fill in the blank] back – and ditch the awkwardness of asking for your stuff back (again), or for reaching out to return someone else’s things out of the blue.
Returning Stuff: Everyone’s Doing It
It’s surprising how many items have taken up permanent residence with people other than their owners. People don’t generally forget about the things loaned to or left with friends. Whether it’s been one week or ten years, at home or the office, it’s common to have an RTS list of items you’ve loaned out and want to get back. On the flip side, countless closets are filled with random items that belong to others, that people feel they have to hold on to until the items finally make it back to their owners. RTS Day is here to help those lenders, borrowers, and forgetful house guests alike.
What happens if your friend doesn’t respond to your request to return something?
—Give them a reasonable deadline. Make it easy on them, but be firm. Your goal is to get your stuff, not to add stumbling blocks to your relationship.
If they say that don’t have your _________ anymore?
—You’ll have to figure out what you think is fair. Maybe it’s an apology, a replacement, or a favor in return. Whatever the situation, in these instances the person who lost, broke, or otherwise no longer has the item they borrowed from you was aware that the item wasn’t theirs, or at the very least, that they didn’t buy it themselves.
What if you have something to return and your friend doesn’t respond?
—Some people are harder to reach than others. Some people will respond eagerly, other’s may not respond at all. Reach out again, giving a deadline. If your friend doesn’t respond (and you’ve honestly tried to reach out in a way that you can reasonably expect them to get your message, and you’ve given a reasonable amount of time to respond), let them know that if you don’t hear back from them, you’ll assume they don’t want their item back.
What if the item you’d like to return is valuable or sentimental, but your friend doesn’t respond to your RTS messages?
—Since this person is your friend, even if you’re not as close as you once were, don’t be in a rush to get rid of something that you know is of great value to them. Make a real effort to return it, ask friends of your friend for help. If that doesn’t work, and it’s been long enough that any reasonable person would give up, the you’ve done everything within reason, and it’s up to you what to do next, just don’t rush it. Chances are, you’ve held onto this item for ages without trying too hard to return it. You might as well make a real effort now that you are actively trying to return it.
What if I find more stuff missing/borrowed after RTS Day?
—Keep the spirit of RTS Day alive year round and reach out to your friends. They’ll probably be thrilled to get their stuff back, and /or relieved to return your stuff instead of feeling guilty that they still have it. Still feeling awkward? Use the e-mail template and/or promo images to help ease the way. Returning belongings to their rightful owner: everyone’s doing it. Finally.
What about exchanging items after a difficult breakup?
—Taking care of the loose ends at the close of a relationship can feel like maneuvering around landmines. Regardless of how the relationship ended, going back to take care of the administrative things like returning/retrieving personal belongings isn’t generally considered a good time. For relationships that end on a less than congenial note, things get tricky quickly.
So, what’s an ex to do when they’d like their things back? Hopefully, RTS Day can be a big help in even tricky situations by being an outside force that is dictating the return of possessions. That’s right – by it being someone else’s idea, it should be easier to maneuver the landmines surrounding the phone calls, texts and/or e-mails surrounding this important step in gaining closure.
If it’s before RTS Day: Let your ex know that RTS Day is about returning things, and that this seems like the perfect opportunity to give back the CDs, DVDs, clothes and miscellany that have wound up at each other’s homes. Designating a drop off spot that is neutral or a small time frame to meet might work best for you.
For breakups that occur after RTS day, try saying/writing something like this:
I saw something about Return to Sender Day a while ago. It was a day designated to returning things to friends that have been borrowed or left. People made lists and sent them to each other – and got stuff back that they’d been missing for ages. In the spirit of RTS Day, how about we designate a day to swap stuff. Does next ___ sound good?
Need extra pointers? Feel free to post or message with your questions for etiquette tips on RTS Day and more.
Good luck!
